matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
