a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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