Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
