so that wasnt chicken after all
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
