I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
