bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
