you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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