My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
