Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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