Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
