You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
