I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
