oh god the rape fog is back!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
