I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
