Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
