So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
