Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
