Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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