I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
