a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
