im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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