Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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