So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
