Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize