i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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