Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
