it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
