: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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