my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
