hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
