That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
