The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
