Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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