so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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