did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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