It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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