she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
