Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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