ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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