and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
