the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
