I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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