So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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