Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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