Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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