Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
