hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
