So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
