I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
