i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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