Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
