Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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