I cannot find my penis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
