She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
